Copywriting Samples from CJ Critt - Click here to download PDF
E-Catalogue Product Descriptions
POV – Humorous
Television Pilot Pitch
:30 Seconds AAFES - Holiday Catalogue 11-01-15
SFX: Sleigh bells jingling in a holiday swirl fades under the Thip-thip-thip of chopper blades.
ELF ONE: Look, it's Santa, and he's waving something!
ELF TWO: He's got the Holiday 2015 Catalogue. (Elf laughter)
SFX: Distant “Ho Ho Ho” from happy Santa.
FVO: Even Santa knows there's no better place to find all the goodies for this holiday season – from toys to TV's, camera to cookware, even fashion and fragrance.
ELF ONE: The Holiday 2015 catalogue!
MVO: Check us out online at shopmyexchange.com - or get your free copy at your local Exchange.
ELF TWO: And let's get our jolly on! (Elf laughter)
SFX: Holiday music up and out
RADIO :15 Seconds POLLO CAMPERO 01-22-15
SFX: Exotic birdcalls and jaguar sound
MVO: Your taste buds are going on an adventure!
SFX: Think of the taste buds as tiny creatures that respond with – “Wee! Yay!” “Okay!”
SFX: Jungle sounds morph into happy dining background, with upbeat Latin music underneath
MVO: For 7.99, come check out our Authentic Latin Chicken - a half chicken, two-sides special, hand prepared and bursting with the bold spices and rich flavors that make a meal at Pollo Campero - An adventure in your mouth.
SFX: Taste Buds up and they are having fun! SFX: Music up and out!
E-Commerce Catalogue Product Descriptions:
Lauren Ralph Lauren Active Aleary Crew Tee
The Lauren Ralph Lauren Active Aleary Long Sleeve Crew Tee is a striped stretch cotton tee that is totally tee-rific!
Lauren Ralph Lauren Active Lauren Ralph Lauren Active Striped Stretch Cotton Tee features variegated stripes that are the definition of the bold and sporty. Get your active style on sporting this stretch cotton tee. Slim fit. Style: 203584518.
Under Armour Women's UA Around Town Beanie
The Under Armour Women's Around Town Beanie is the soft knit cap that won't let you down!
When chilly temperatures are in the air, you will want to pull on this delightful beanie with soft cable knit sweater construction that features a center woven UA logo. Made of comfortable stretch synthetic fabric, so that one size fits all, this go-everywhere beanie is machine washable and imported and is the perfect topper for her when the weather is brrrr! Style: 1275160.
Signature Design by Ashley Declan Contemporary Rug
This contemporary Declan Rug from Signature Design by Ashley showcases a soothing landscape of complimentary colors, adding subtle beauty to your floors.
This contemporary Declan Rug from Signature Design by Ashley showcases a soothing landscape of complimentary colors, adding subtle beauty to your floors. Constructed of 100% Polypropylene, it is durable and versatile and will serve as a superior floor covering in your home. Imported from Egypt.
North Texas Nonprofit Resources - Grant Central Station for North Texas
Murray Covens is the founder and principal of North Texas Nonprofit Resources, a professional grant-writing firm for 501c3 nonprofit organizations.
Murray's passion for serving the nonprofit community and those in need began decades ago, when at nineteen, he founded a crisis hotline in Houston. His work ethic was honed in his father's pharmacy where he worked as a boy, and his organizational skills and 'get it done' demeanor was spawned even earlier, when the job of wrangling players and setting ball game schedules at the neighborhood sand lot fell to him.
Murray started the company 11 years ago, and he and his associates have succeeded in securing thousands of grants for over 125 client organizations – more than $30,000,000 in total.
Taking his work seriously, but not himself, Murray has been known to laugh until he is helpless with glee, and enjoys working out to favorite stand-up comics, including the brilliant social commentary of Chris Rock. Not surprisingly, this mix of humor and expert knowledge has made him a sought-after speaker and teacher about grant writing.
He is a partner and board member with Social Venture Partners Dallas, and serves on the board of directors of Recovery Inn, PediPlace, and Magic Beans. He has previously served on the board or advisory board of several other nonprofit organizations, including Bea's Kids, Family Compass, Brighter Tomorrows, and the Suicide and Crisis Center of North Texas, where he was awarded a Man of the Century honor in 2000 for his twenty years of volunteer service.
With a fondness for art, color, and esthetic beauty, Murray presented an array of sleek, modern abstracts - large canvases, alive with vivid color, emotion, and Santa Fe influences, at Murray Covens Contemporary for a very inspirational year in the Dallas Design District.
A Dallas resident for the last thirty years, Murray enjoys travel adventures with his lovely wife Kathleen, ever ready to sample the cuisine and culture across this country and around the globe.
Prior to starting North Texas Nonprofit Resources, Murray had a long career in corporate accounting, and was a financial consultant to several nonprofit organizations. He was formerly a CPA, and holds both a Master and Bachelor in Business Administration.
Phone (972) 620-2780 email@example.com
ALEAH DILLARD “WE GO HARD” by CJ Crittenden - firstname.lastname@example.org
When a young girl from East Texas plays first chair cello and is ranked in the top 2% academically, it's no surprise that she spends her time at the library. What may come as a “Say what?” head shaker is her choice of reading material: Championship Fighting – Explosive Punching and Aggressive Defense by Jack Dempsey. Yes, that Jack Dempsey. Plus plenty of other books, histories and biographies, illuminating the boxing arts.
Aleah Dillard is no ordinary scholar athlete. This pugilistic provocateur is ranked ninth in the nation in her weight class – light weight – with the 2016 Women's Olympic Boxing Team in her sights. The qualifying fights loom up ahead, perilous icebergs that must be respected and conquered on the journey to be the best.
Though she sees herself as an introvert, living “Too much in my head,” that has changed, as she fully embraces the focus, determination and mental toughness it takes to compete. In boxing she has had to learn, “Who you are – mentally and emotionally. The person you are fighting against is a mirror image of yourself.”
So... She's as deep as she's competitive and all this from a young woman whose first bout at age 20, was an unsanctioned fight in East Texas, where drinking and fighting were two of the only available outlets for a post adolescent with energy to burn, and who still thanks her Dad, sadly, now deceased, for understanding and getting her that first pair of boxing gloves that she begged for since childhood.
More important than skills, techniques and moves is conditioning, and to that end, Aleah, who also works as a personal trainer, sees her ideal workout as a three-tiered affair that consists of: 5 to 6 miles of running, 45 minutes of strength training, and 45 minutes of sparring. This trifecta of effort yields the confidence, energy, balance and conditioning that allows her to feel “Alive in my body.”
To fuel her workout habit, she turns to fish, scrambled eggs, sweet potato pancakes and a whole lot of cottage cheese, a favorite protein go-to. As a post- workout treat, she is not immune to Famous Amos Chocolate Chip cookies, with which, she says, she has “A Problem.”
Coming up? The 2016 Olympic Trials in Colorado Springs, where 2012 team members, Queen Underwood and Mikala Myer lie in wait. Ms. Dillard will be armed with a fighters' heart and philosophy in addition to her considerable skills and talent, and in the words of Floyd Mayweather, “With hard work, dedication and creativity, you should be able to achieve all your dreams.” Amen.
Aleah Dillard. Avid reader. Texan. Boxer. Contender.
The excerpt below is derived from a 7 minute SKYPE interview with a Bride to Be.
HUNK IN THE TRUNK
Sometimes it takes a big man to pour himself into the greatest pitch of his life,
namely, the marriage proposal. And so, the thought of proposing, in just the right way,
to Jenny, the one girl he was meant to make his own, was no small thing.
Neither was Andrew.
And now, all six foot two inches of Andrew was stuffed into the trunk of Jenny's
AudiA4 where he lay, pretzled into PPP – Proposal Pounce Position.
Wearing a suit.
Clutching his cell phone.
Call? Or see what happens? Come on, he was in the trunk of a car, the wrong
CD was playing, and his almost fiancé was tooling around Santa Monica, in search of a
mysterious statue and an even more elusive parking space.
See, there had been trouble two nights before, when Jenny, had misunderstood Andrew's pre-proposal staging time as him being unavailable. The hurt in her eyes almost made him forget the plan, and pop the question right then.
But Andrew's plan was worthy of cinema, and indeed, he had scored a song that
proclaimed to Jenny his intention and devotion to her. “I'M HERE,” the song he wrote
for her that said it all, a song he took the pains to have played and produced with all the care and passion he felt.
Now, as she looped around Santa Monica, he needed to end her confusion. And
his confinement. In the tiny glow of the screen, he punched in the one number he knew
“Hello? Andrew, is that you? What's going on?”
“Do me a favor. Drive to the end of Wilshire and park.”
“Okay... Then what? Just park the car?”
“Right. The statue will be straight ahead. And uh, Jenny, remember one thing.”
“Open the trunk.” The call was disconnected.
The aimless driving ended moments later. Lying coiled in discomfort, Andrew was so eager to escape the confines of the Audi, he was ready to spring to his feet and propose simultaneously.
Jenny's dainty footsteps approached and slowed at the trunk. Andrew, cramped
inside, stilled his ragged breath. “I wonder what's in -” Jenny got no further, because as the trunk sprang open, out popped Andrew, elated to be free, but with long limbs, manly exuberance, and a gravity induced heave, fell out of the trunk and Splat! Right onto the pavement.
Jenny's reaction? She screamed. Loudly. Passersby thought they were seeing a
white-collar mob hit. The police were nearly called. But the drama ended when Andrew
was recognized, and though still in a suit clad sprawl, swiftly proposed to his sweetheart,
who had the presence of mind to accept the ring and say, “Yes!” To Be Continued…
POV – Humorous:
An excerpt from THE I-PHONE CURSE CJ Critt © 2013
I speak clearly for a living.
It's my job to articulate in the studio as I channel countless voices and myriad characters for best-selling authors as an audio book pro. I've been doing this sort of thing since I was the announcer at the high school send-the-choir to Europe fund-raiser, since I wanted to be Suzie Snowflake in kindergarten but had to be the narrator instead… since I won the award for excellence in stage speech at the esteemed American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York City, handed to me, by theater and screen legend, Lillian Gish, back when dinosaurs roamed the subways.
So why can't that miserable, digital vixen “Siri” ever understand what the hell I am saying?
Siri, where is the nearest parking garage?
“Sorry, I cannot find show times for Guatemala City”
Siri, call Sandi Bill.
“There's no Candyvale in your address book, shall I look for it on the Web?”
Siri, remind me to “Pay Visa bill.”
“Okay, I'll remind you to Vaporize your Pills. When do you wish to be reminded?”
WHAT THE F**K?
She hates me. She must. And she knows that deliberately misunderstanding me is one of my triggers. Oh yeah. After all, I've been married 23 years. I know exactly what I said, and when, and I can recall word for word, syllable for syllable every interchange with my significant other for decades, so I can only conclude, that she does this on purpose.
Siri, call A&W artworks.
“Calling Anthony Weiner – Mobile”
Siri, where is the nearest Target?
“The La Brea Tar Pits are 1 thousand, one hundred thirteen miles away”
Siri, do you know you're an absolute moron and not worth the spit to say your name?
“Carol, I don't know why you are talking to me this way. Are you having a hot flash?
Anyway, I am not taking this lying down. I've had other phones. And I've dropped them. And I don't mean the carrier. I have dropped them, the PHONES, as in the Bill Hader commercial. In… The… Toilet. So don't think I'm not keeping score, Siri, old girl. When this two year contract runs out, get some floaties, baby, cuz' your blathering inane, useless, days WILL come to an end.
If you behave like this with all the other customers you will bring down a company valued greater than Exxon Mobile, and we'll all be going back to two juice cans and a string. Or carrier pigeons. Or the Town Crier. Just stop messing with me, and listen up, okay?
PR created by CJ Crittenden for Arlington Proud
Arlington Proud - Love where you live!
Arlington Proud has a philosophy of creating places and branding neighborhoods by involving community members in the movement of 'Fun.' Interested in telling others all about your neighborhood? Check out work groups that meet each month to help make Arlington a terrific place to Live, Work and Create.
1. Create Arlington – Is there a budding Picasso at your house? Are you a songwriter, sculptor, musician or muralist? Does the idea of citywide music and performing arts events make your heart sing? Then join us at Create Arlington, where existing art groups and neighborhood arts lovers come together to create!
2. Sustainable Arlington - A key aspect of neighborhood redevelopment. Working neighborhood by neighborhood, Sustainable Arlington seeks to create communities that utilize solar power, multi-modal forms of transportation, high efficiency housing, streetscape/xeriscaping initiatives, and community commons for a new generation. See what we are talking about related to mobility.
3. Advocate Arlington – Now Hear This! How will the world find
out about Arlington's 100 Great Neighborhoods? Online, as we cultivate a presence targeted to the needs of the next generation of Arlington resident. Have a passion for local sports, schools, music, or dining out? Get involved and let your voice be heard! Utilizing an array of social media platforms we'll engage with current and potential residents as we tell the story of Arlington, Texas, and celebrate Arlington Proud!
SAMPLE BLOG POST: by CJ Crittenden 12-10-15
The Art of Theatre by Design -
Every city ought to have a Wyley Theater, as we do here in Dallas, or a facility like San Antonio's Tobin Center or the Cerritos Center for the Performing Arts – all first class, top tier performing arts venues that can change, chameleon-like, from event to event, project to program. These are contemporary spaces that successfully marry technology to artistic vision and excel in audience engagement for multiple disciplines and users. These are exciting spaces to experience art, community, local and global culture and all of it blending and belonging together. These are the kinds of performance spaces that TheatreDNA specializes in creating, restoring and equipping. But let me digress.
A few years back, old timers in New York complained that the Broadway musical had been reduced to “Dancing scenery!” and smugly pronounced that art form had died. Fortunately the announcement of a such demise was premature. No reliance on showy tech-assisted spectacle propels the searing emotional journey of the intimately staged, Next to Normal or the incendiary energy and pyrotechnic word play of Hamilton. But I would have to admit that without the large screen and animation projections used brilliantly in, for example, Old Hats, and Gentlemen's Guide to Love and Murder, those expertly designed shows would have lacked a certain satisfaction and delight. Fact is, as a collective audience we have grown very sophisticated and down right demanding in our technological expectations, even at live events. After all, we, that royal “ull ÒWe” the audience, have a lot of fairly cool stuff we could be doing with our time and dollars. If we are actually going to leave our cozy homes, cable, fuzzy slippers, and petting the dog while we watch Fargo, we want to be dazzled. Or moved. Or laugh. A lot. All right, make that all of those.
“If you build it, they will come…” Why? Historically, most creative performance spaces were built for single use function (i.e. Amphitheater, symphony hall, banquet room, convention center, arena, opera house, sculpture museum). However, one major artistic downside of the single use venue is inherent inflexible design to accommodate varied content. Another is the fracturing of the audience. If one great performance venue can deftly transition from genre to genre, accommodating all comers from Diana Krall to Kinky Boots; Lypsinka to Little Mermaid, let's utilize the space fully. With a central thriving arts venue or center, a city can claim a landmark, a neighborhood can build an arts community and, oh yeah, one-stop-entertainment-outing-location helps to engage your audience and keep them coming back. “If you build it, they will come…”
Television Pilot Pitch:
Sigma Delta Die – TV Comedy/Drama
Created by CJ Crittenden
Sigma Delta Die is a scripted comic horror show that delves into the lives and afterlives of the, oh so haunted, Delta Du Sorority house — think Buffy meets American Horror Story.
The imperious Freeman clan, with plenty of skeletons in their luxurious closets, has donated a century old family building, now majorly haunted — having once been the sad site of a home for unwed mothers who perished in a grisly fire.
Our Goth inspired heroine, Victoria Freeman, shunned by the wealthy Freeman family but blood nonetheless, holds the key to unleashing the spirits of the past as the story unfolds on Bleakmore Campus in Small Town, USA.
Reigning over the modern day sorority house and its sizzling secrets is head bitch, Amanda and her sidekick Suzy who would like nothing more than to cut their nemesis Victoria from the wealthy Freeman clan and the sorority.
The evil glee of the sorority leaders, pitted against alt-girl Victoria, proves irresistible to the new pledges, Christina and Roxanne... but, only if they make it out of Bleakmore alive.
Initiation Night. Pledge night goes awry when freak weather threatens, sending queen bee, Amanda into a tyrannical tizzy and the rest of them scurrying to the basement for cover. There, in the un-renovated bowels of the building, the last physical remnants of the original home, Christina and Roxanne encounter sorority outcast and legacy girl, Victoria, rocking enigmatically, alone in the dark, where she is closest to 'Them.'
Late that night, Roxanne is tempted to sneak a clandestine rendezvous with hunk Donny, who yearns to be her only hook up, and narrowly misses a mysterious stranger lurking in the bushes, just outside the walls of Delta Du. Who is it?
Victoria, with her family connections, is guaranteed a place at Delta Du. However, that doesn't mean she's welcome as sorority sisters watch idly by when Victoria's head banging seizure threatens to upset their morning breakfast meeting. Only new pledges, Christina and Roxanne come to her aid, cementing a tenuous friendship with this seemingly fragile outcast, and resident ghost connection. Together, they will be tested by the spirits of …Sigma Delta Die.